05 October, 2011

Fashion and toast

I am sort of a big fan of fashion. And by that, I literally mean clothes. And Not Very Much of a fan.

I like clothes! I wants them, they are my precious.

Without them I would be very, very naked. Or cold. Or both! I do not look on this prospect with much favor.

I know a lot of marvelous girls who say that everybody has a fashion sense, and it took me a long time to accept this as truth, given my natural interest level.

But eventually I realized that I was not wandering around in public in a warm fuzzy poncho with no pants, so I was obviously making SOME sort of sacrifice for the sake of fashion.

I should probably disclose that the garment I most frequently wear is a small fuzzy poncho, but it doesn't cover much and I never wear it all by itself. I also like a warm fuzzy bathrobe, but that opening and closing and fastening closed business seems a little fussy! Plus the sash is lumpy when you go to lie down.

The fashion statement I have been trying to make with my clothes has been partly successful. It's somewhere between "mostly harmless" and "not as sexy as you think. These are not the breasts you are looking for."

But I have decided that I need to step it up a notch, because people find me very confusing, and unexpectedly delightful.

I don't know why, I'm not that good at keeping a secret. Don't tell anyone I said so.

With the the intention of reducing my stress, I figure my best bet is a tiara, a baby-doll style bridesmaid gown, and a set of crab leg pants. Ok, really, I think this will reduce someone else's stress, but at least it would be clear that I am probably not what you expect!

Right now I'm just concentrating on clothes that fit, that I don't hate too much. I am getting a lot more out of clothing, now that my standards are actually barely above rock bottom.

And I am now going to reveal my hypothetical halloween costume, since scheduling conflicts will probably prevent me from attending any party. (Which I totally regret! I think I have been invited to TWO parties ALREADY this year. But I will probably be out of town.)

I will get my rotating marshmallow toasting fork, stick a piece of toast on it, and go as a toast rack, or a toaster. I was going to make a toast necklace, and go as toast, but I can not figure out how to come up with artificial toast, and real toast is way to crumby to wear.

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