06 October, 2011

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost

Either Simon Pegg, or Nick Frost is one of my imaginary boyfriends, but I have a lot of trouble deciding which one. They can both have an imaginary cupcake! Consalud.

This is one of my more serious existential dilemmas, and, frankly, I am tired of worrying about it. I have restricted myself to one imaginary boyfriend per movie. I don't have enough time for more than one boyfriend at a time! And these two fellows are consistently appearing in vids together. They take my breath away. And I need that breath for the laughter!

I first saw them in Shaun of the Dead, which was HILARIOUS. I'm not a big fan of zombie or horror or slasher films. The suspense is always trying to kill me! Or they are lame.

But this movie opened my eyes up to the joy of the macabre horror that is zombies. Well, ok, I saw another funny zombie movie once. I don't like grody movies, there is no eraser for my brain! That other movie had an ear falling into some soup, and let me just say yech! And I'm sorry for inflicting that horrible mental image on you too, ha ha ha.

That other movie (BrainDead by Peter Jackson) was pretty cute, other than the grody decomposing flesh. And had the most awesome kick-boxing priest ever. But it did not have Nick Frost or Simon Pegg in it. As far as I know.

Simon and Nick also did a movie called Hot Fuzz, which was a cop/buddy movie which I also adore. Watch Point Break first, just saying. It's got Patrick Swayze AND Keanu Reeves in it... and heck, now that I look it up it has everybody else in the WORLD in it. Sorry, I didn't really notice the first time around. I like Hot Fuzz better, but Point Break isn't trying to be funny. There's some parachuting in PB. And OMG, there's a remake coming out in two years! Or a sequel? If there was anything broke, they'll probably fix it. And vice versa.

You might also enjoy another buddy/cop movie referenced in Hot Fuzz, Bad Boys II. I will probably watch this someday and fall in love with somebody in it. I'll get back to you on that later! And there is probably a movie with Simon and or Nick available to watch right now that I haven't yet heard of. Go see it too! You'll probably get to it before me, because I am extremely half-assed about watching, or promoting movies I have not yet heard of.

I'd like to do a little chart with pros and cons on Nick and Simon, but I'm pretty crap at the graphics, if you haven't figured that out by now.

Simon is more cheeky, but Nick is plenty cheeky. Nick seems like he has more innate goofy charm, but it is a close call. It's pretty much a toss up on looks, and who cares, really, because they are obviously going to fight for me, mano a mano, and I'll have to take the winner, like it or lump it. Or both! And then sneak off to nurse the loser back to health, so I can wrestle anew with my unquenchable and conflicting desires.

Simon and Nick will probably star in a movie just like this soon. CAN'T WAIT. Hopefully I will finish writing it next week. I think they will be gladiators, and I am either a slave girl, or a princess. Probably both, just like Carrie Fisher.

It is possible that I will sniff in a pathetic way over my cocoa because they are busy doing other things, like movies and comedy shorts and interviews and stuff. Hey, cocoa and more fun stuff to watch? Totally win-win.

I still haven't seen everything they have done, together and separately, so I've got a lot of catching up to do.

For some reason, I can't think of anything more to say about Nick Frost and Simon Pegg. Inconceivable! It's far more likely that there are just no words good enough. I'll find one from my list of inexplicably legal scrabble words, for a contrived sense of closure.

cete - noun. a number of badgers together. Or maybe something about whales? I love that this word exists, and I hate it with a fury that I can not explain. My fury will not be stopped! But it will die out in a second or two, when I start giggling about badgers.

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