31 July, 2011

Wash your hands

This is a script I wrote for a PSA video promoting handwashing, and it is cracking me up.

I’ve never written a script before, so bear with me.

1. Introduction

Establishing shot: Undecided. Slow motion handwashing?

VOICEOVER: They say you should wash your hands for twenty or thirty seconds EVERY TIME. Even if your hands don't stink. Try that washing on something that does--join the PIT CLEANSE movement.

2. Testimonials, a group of women sitting around in the locker room at the gym (because of the stink, of course). A woman walks by, and the group of women exchange significant glances. J, R, and C are beautiful women.

J: She doesn’t know.

C: It's hard to start a conversation about armpits. I've be sitting on this, so to speak, since January or so, but... "Hey, my pits don't stink like they used to!"? Nope.

R: I was skeptical, till I tried it. Was going to do just the left, but realized the right deserved to be squeaky-clean as well. I am feeling fresh. I tried to explain it to my husband, but for some reason it came out sounding like I never wash my pits.

C: Does it work on men?

R: I don’t know yet. He “forgot”.

J: I got a second exfoliating mitten so I could get my Super Pit Scrub done in half the time.

C: I was just using my hands, but maybe I’ll use my mit next time.

R: Usually by 3pm I've sweated through my clothes and feel gross just sitting at my desk. And I live in Seattle.

J: I road tested pits in 90 degrees in Chelan. It still was markedly better. You still sweat, and if you freebase garlic you still sweat garlic, but a large portion of stinky is just gone.

C and R, together: I know!

R: do you still use “something else”?

C: sometimes, if I’m worried about pit stink

J: I’m so glad you told me about super pit cleanse.

3. Explanation

Establishing shot: sexy man, soaping and scrubbing the pit area. Music: Twinkle twinkle little star, crossed with some boom shaka wow wow. Or is that Boom shicka boom boom?

Voiceover: Try Pit Cleanse. It’s easy. It works. Lather and scrub your armpits for about 30 seconds. That’s it. This guy isn’t even finished yet, and now you know what to do. Enjoy the next 15 seconds. without this annoying voiceover.

4. Conclusion 

Establishing shot: Person in a Lab/dr coat, talking directly at the camera?

Person who looks trustworthy and smart: How long is 30 seconds? If you don’t have a convenient timer, just sing the ABC song, or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star all the way through
at a moderate pace. That’s all! What’s stopping you--we’ll all appreciate the effort, even if it doesn’t remove all the stink. 

Establishing shot: a rose or something.

Voiceover: Pit Cleanse--it’s the right thing to do.

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