31 July, 2011

Google, how I love thee.

Hi Google. I totally love being your product. Everything you try to show me? I'd say it's priceless but I'm not actually paying that close attention. Slap a picture of a cupcake on that stuff, and I'll be looking, at least for a second. But I know you knew that about me already. It's not a secret.

Everything you give me to use for free that I have tried? I LOVE. Let me count the ways.

Email. Thank you google!

Google Search. Thank you, google.

Blogger. Obviously. Thanks.

After all this, is it hard to believe that I totally want more free stuff? Who cares--I'm going to let you know whether it's hard to believe or not.

I passed a few suggestions to my friend who works at google already. I'll let those marinate, even though I totally want those things. Right now, And they are truly for the good of all mankind. As far as I can remember anyway.

What I want now is something that's for me, and I don't care about how the rest of mankind feels about it. I would like a "share this" widget to click. And then you send whatever it is out on an actual piece of paper to whoever I ask you to. Charge me for it, if you feel you must. If it's worth it to me, I totally will. I'd prefer if you slapped an ad on the bottom of that, and you're good at that already. But whatever.

Because I am going to have to do it myself if you don't step up. I need to share stuff with people I love who, horror of horrors, don't have ready access to email. Or the internet. (Or sanity, some of the time.)

Add it as a feature of Gmail. I've already got some addresses in my contacts there. Shit, I better change my password again so no one hacks me now!

But go ahead. Help a girl out. You know you want to. Tell my friend when it's ready, he'll know how to find me. (And not because it might be a little creepy how much you know about me, google.)


  1. Google, how I do not adore thee.

    1) I am unsure about the best way to share my valuable suggestions with you, and my cranky persnickety complaints. I am not thrilled with forums. The guy I know who works there keeps trying to figure out my stuff himself even though he really seems to belong to some other project. I prefer being ignored by the actual people involved on the projects I care about much better than either of these options... and I do not expect much more than being ignored.

    2)When will there be better revision control for blogger? undo only goes back as far as the last submit, as far as I can tell, and because of a tragic miscommunication between you, blogger or blogspot or whatever you are called, and me, a blogger, I have had half of TWO of my finely crafted blog posts eaten. One I managed to recompose. The other I published in that tragically truncated way, with a summary of what all y'all missed out on. Revision control does not scare google, they've got it in spades in google documents. Are bloggers supposedly idiots or something?

    3)Google documents, why do I not have the option of publishing, say, to my google blog. I started composing my blog there for a week or so but switched to directly composing at the blog interface, because importing from google docs was so clunky, plus I like to use features in my posts not available on Google documents. Never mind, silly question.

    4)I am a real person, and a notary public in the state of Washington, and I do trust google employees doing their job to look at my super-secret stuff if necessary to help me with problems, like, say, 2, above. My friend who works there at google has no way to prove this to google, and you have a lot of very reasonable internal restrictions preventing him from fiddling with my stuff. Do you have an internal bulletin board or something for "can you help my friend? she'd be happy to give permission" that he could be using? It's obvious that if your friend at google is motivated enough, something can sometimes be done. I don't actually expect my pal to pursue finding the right guy at the right project for anything like my problems, which, though I care about them deeply, are not that serious, but if you've got something else available please let him know. Or let me know so I can tell him directly.

    5) I can't remember what else I want, but I'm sure I've got more. I'll get back to you after I figure out a better answer to #1. Probably.

  2. Blogger Buzz: Latest updates, August 1st

    Can't comment on blogger blog, maybe this will work.