28 August, 2011

Birds

I have a special relationship with birds. And not like Gonzo, or Bert.

And I am not the only one. I hear lots of stories about significance being drawn from wild birds and their activities. Or cessation of activities, in the case of dead birds.

This kind of significance is mystical thinking, which I do not personally enjoy, for reasons I will eventually explain. A 'sign' from the universe, I would like to believe, is always my actual life, and not something birds are doing.

I love hearing about the signs other people see in the world! I just do not enjoy believing in mystical connectivity. In my own life. But I do. And I digress.

Sometimes I have felt like birds are cosmically drawn to me in some weird way. Live birds swooping around almost all the time. Dead birds literally littering my path, though thankfully just one at a time, over and over again and not, you know, a hail of birds or anything.

The first lesson I drew from birds, years ago, is PAY ATTENTION. I learned this while driving.

Another beautiful flock of birds was swooping and parting and coalescing around and in front of me as I drove down the road. And I love a swarm of birds. They stole my attention from the moment.

I got it back in time to hit the brakes and squeal to a stop behind the cars in front of me, instead of IN the cars in front of me.

I still had a couple of feet to spare or something, but that first lesson from bird-kind came across as: don't watch birds when you are driving!

But I didn't get the 'live in the moment' part of 'pay attention' for a long time. I'm still not that good at it--I reminisce, and imagine my perfect future life. And I'm ok with a little bit of both. I like to learn, I like to plan.

I just don't want to cherish my history or my fantasy more than I am cherishing whatever I can get from whatever I'm doing right now.

And I am Living.


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