I can't sleep. Neither can my dear friend. She even has some employment. Friend, I am so. Sorry.
Friend, I have always known that we had a lot in common, but I did not until this moment of sleep-deprived confusion realize that we are soul sisters. And that at least one of us needs to figure out this sleep thing so both of our souls can rest. It's probably me. My bad. My soul has not really been at 'rest' since sometime last Tuesday, which I am planning to go explain to the compassionless jerks who woke it up as soon as I post this to my blog, because my blog is the funniest thing on earth, and frankly, it must come first. It is my only hope of sleep, so maybe that will help our souls rest, Sister, because what's keeping me up at night is a dream. A dream of the funny. Which I can only share with other through my blog, and which I hope to get past this little problem of not sleeping real soon because I have given up keeping the funny locked up, and only by sharing it with others do I have any hope of good sleep to look forward to. Because man I want that good sleep. Much though I enjoy lying in bed ALL NIGHT LONG cracking myself up. Prince William and Prince Harry are funny too, did you know? I re-cast my nerd PIT CLEANSE PSA with Bill and Harold last night in my head, you know, for the British stink problem, and I swear to god I cannot stop cackling. But I'll do what it takes to get over this giddy period of excitement, Susan. For you, because I care that you are not getting good sleep anymore. And for me, because I hate that I am not getting sleep anymore. It's not my fault that our Souls were Linked. Until this moment, much though I love you, I never would have guessed. But I slept Not. One. Minute. Last night until I talked to my mom on the phone at 5am. And I cherish the minutes that I have managed to sleep since then. But Not only do I deserve more, but You deserve more. And I'm gonna come back and reuse this for my blog in a day or two, after I take the ramble out. I know none of you need to cackle helplessly through the night, occasionally rolling into the fetal position. I'm sorry. But my blog may save the world, and I love you all, and I'm doing this for the future sleep of all. Man. Kind. You're welcome.
editorial note: did not wait a a day or two. did not take the ramble out. Too funny not to share in raw, unedited, format. Apparently I am a much more careful about being clear when I am sleep deprived. who knew?