Personal note #2

Those of you who are reading by RSS may have had a sneak peak at an eventually upcoming blog post I've got in mind: Invisible people of color.

And I'm totally going to write it some day soon, but I'm exploring issues of balance and proportion and pacing and delivery. And also trying to build up a bit of a backlog of upcoming posts so that no one misses out on the fabulousness that is me if I take two or nine days away from keyboard, as I both just did and plan to do starting next week.

Upcoming write today or tomorrow posts feel like:

John Turturro
Absolute terrror
Sleepless in Seattle

and the in-the can scheduled posts for this week are:

I am an artist
Panic
Jean M. Auel

All I'm really getting right is pacing, ha ha ha.

As a note, I had this to say about insomnia today on the 101 program from Steve Barnes, and to Steve Barnes, my new best friend.

And my slow process of letting that fear go has gained some momentum lately, and whatever reason, I am no longer depressed, and find the world a lot more stimulating that I used to. (and more stimulating than most people find it, if I try and compare experience, which is of course pointless. But my other sister likes to insist non-neurotypical! and she is probably right about all of us.)

So with that, my relaxation cues and stuff were set on low, but the world got turned up to eleven. So I had to eliminate more external stimulation than I needed to a month ago, and pick better cues to relax, or whatever.

My usual problems with insomnia were more the struggles of a slightly depressed person to sleep more. Not a need, but a desire.

My new ones are categorically different in severity, and may be just this overstimulation/relaxation adjustment I'm going through, and may be part of crossing a metabolic threshold as I lose weight, like dropping off a plateau or something. Not that I was on one for long! I do not call a month a plateau.

Because I've had the new sleep problems in combination with feeling less fear/more joy, and also with putting off meals because I have something better to do, which hasn't come up much in the last 26 years, let me tell you. :)

Oh, and I just have to let you know, a friend of mine who is also in on my problems and enthusiasms sent me your warrior sleep program, and it's my new favorite sleep/hypnosis learning tool!

And I found out after listening to it three times that I must obviously trust you implicitly, because usually I keep some vigilance/resistance the first time through one of these programs, just to make sure I like all the messages getting put into my head, but the first two times I listened to yours I probably fell right to sleep, and I'm not sure I've heard all the words with the conscious part of my mind yet, though I have heard a bit more since then. So thanks for that!

 See? No matter where I go I can not shut up. And I'm loving it!