Don't Hate me because I am beautiful

Please. There are so many, much better reasons. And Beautiful. Not my fault. That's your fault, you beholder you. That is all you.

I have been fighting this story all my life. But I am totally willing to believe you, because I am quite gullible. And because I too am a beholder. And what I see? I usually like.

Hate me for that! I am conceited! I totally agree, a palpable air of almost smug self-satisfaction is an intolerable affront. 

And I do not enjoy being the center of attention, with somebody out of my sight, behind my back, possibly poised to annihilate me. Because I am afeared. And I have issues.

I don't drink or smoke! Adam Ant doesn't hate me for that, but you can.

I am totally a jackass. Because I can never remember, anymore, all the wonderful things we have done together. You and me. But I can be reminded, with your help.

And I am totally a smart ass. But the smart? Not my fault. I would usually claim to vastly prefer to be normal. Because Normal. Looks. Easier. But A) I don't think smart is out of your reach. and B) You already are smart. and C) Me? Totally willing to let my freak flag fly.

And it's probably only a grass-is-greener thing. I don't think very many of us are getting it that easy.

And thank you, Ben Stiller, and YOU KNOW WHO. For this video. And the rest of Zoolander. Priceless. Though that car fire? Tragic waste of Alexander Skarsgard potential. But it totally works anyway.

But I have digressed. I prefer that you do not hate me, but I'll take hate over envy any day of the week.

Because I am better than no one.

And we are all beautiful.